Yearning for baguettes, OR: Age Of Dinosaurs // Possible HUGE spoiler alert!! //

HAPPY NEWS: We finally got around to watch "Age Of Dinosaurs - Terror In L.A.". This movie was released by The Asylum in May 2013, and since we got to watch the German version of it, I can only speak of that version for real. Yeah, yeah, I know that's really bad!!

Also... As it was my first "official" trash movie to watch, I cannot compare it to other movies, which is sad because we had a good time watching it, and I guess it could lead the way towards more movies in this genre, holding a lantern in its hands and calling "Follow, you fools!". (Those who get the reference, I salute you!)

But back to the movie. Have some trailer first, to get a little glimpse into what could be happening:

Get the gist already? No? Well, here we go: Gabe Jacobs (played by Treat Williams) is a firefighter, and even if you forgot about this fact at first, you shall be reminded during every scene possible throughout the entire movie that this is his profession. He asks his daughter, Jade (Jillian Rose Reed), to join him to something that he hints at with the word "Jurassic". Mmh! What could this be?

As they get into a hall with a - fairly small - stage, Jade does not know what he meant, but soon it is clear that the company "Geneti-Sharp" has found a way to clone dinosaurs, and that these dinosaurs are special guests behind a glass wall that (at least in the version I watched) could bear up against a pressure of 17,000 bar (I... might be wrong!). Jade "escapes" Justin's boring speech and plays MP3s while the dinosaurs escape, whoohoo!

Now that the dinos run free, she soon suspects something is wrong, and then is chased by a dinosaur, I think his name was Larry (Played by bad computer animated... stuff. He doesn't even have a shadow, yet he does not sparkle!), into a scene that kinda, sorta reminds of a certain scene in a certain movie I won't name here, but I guess you will know which one I mean once you watch it :P. Yeah, that's mean and highly professional of me, I know!

Hiding behind a double-glazed... oven?, she now is safe from Larry. Sure. The firefighter in the meantime wanders off to search for his daughter, whose scream he has heard from afar even though the entire hall's filled with people who scream aswell, and he finds her.

Now I won't tell you any more, because I still don't want to spoil you. Let's just leave it to, "Our hero and his daughter have a rather interesting flight through the city. Also, dinosaurs don't like mesh wire fences, obviously."

What confused both Meian and me was, that the stage was, as we said already, kind of small, and many dinosaurs at once fit onto it, yet in other sequences, they were HUGE. And by HUGE I mean, woah, they are as big as skyscrapers, or at least entire sets of floors inside them. Oh wait, maybe they grew all through the movie, and then met the white rabbit from "Alice In Wonderland", who led them to the "Eat me"s and "Drink me"s...

Why the baguette reference, too? Well, there is this scene featuring a pteranodon (played by Mr Baguette), and whenever its beak was shown, it literally looked like two baguettes being waved around. "We spared no expense!", eh?

My favourite quote, in the German version, was refering to a rather small city (compared to others, at least) within Germany, namely Stuttgart. Something along the lines of, "The entire city of STUTTGART will be delighted!" ... I knew that scenes in the movie (are supposed to) play in Japan AND in Los Angeles, but what the heck does Stuttgart out of all cities possible have to do with this?! Why should it be delighted?! Why do I even think about this?!

Yes, indeed, why do I even think about this? Was the movie good or no(o)t? I think it was, indeed, worth watching, even though I guess maybe (possibly maybe?) it was NOT the intention behind the movie to make it this funny / confusing. Or maybe it was :). And this is exactly what I like about it: It can be hilarious if you pay attention to some of the things happening (especially compared to things prior mentioned / happening), to the "firefighter" always being mentioned as that (We even considered to make a drinking game ouf ot if D:!) - and to the duties he has to live with -, to random shadow and mirror fails, and towards what happens when a door is locked and somebody has a magic key to enter and leave at his own will.

Yesyesyes, I want more of this!! IF you indeed take this movie seriously, or want to watch something that doesn't highly remind you of Jurassic..., then don't watch it. Don't "waste your time". But if you are up for some really "good" trash, then watch it and let us know what you think!!

As it is right now, I'd rate the movie as "4 out of 5 dinosaurs" - it IS hilarious altogether, but I, for now, don't know whether I'd find better movies than THIS ONE yet, and I somehow had the feeling something was missing still. Altogether it was a good experience to watch it, so... Hope to see you soon?